Mood: BoredPain Scale: 3
It's hard to get used to being by yourself. Weird. Trying to find things to fill my time seems like a challenge. I'm sure I will get used to it.
15 will be moving out this coming weekend. We go from good days to bad days. She says she understands where I'm coming from and that she knew she was taking a risk when she got involved with me. I did tell her everything up front. We both agree that we both thought the risk was worth it. Which it was. I am very glad I met her. I wish that we could remain friends. I will miss her friendship dearly. She keeps saying that she doesn't do the friendship thing.
Soon the house will be REALLY quiet. It will just be me and the cats.
I hung out with some gals last night from an online group I joined and it was fun. It was an ice cream social. This Monday we're all supposed to go to a softball game and cheer on some people we know. Sounds fun. Operation friendship in underway.
I enrolled in school again and plan on making that my focus. I really do need to finish and get myself some sort of degree. It's either that or move to P-town, which I seriously throw around a lot. The job market kind of scares me at the moment, so I'm reluctant to take the jump. I also need to save up more money for the move and a couple months of living funds beforehand. So I figure go to school, finish up, move to P-town. That's my long term plan at the moment.
I'm still sad about not building that family I had thought so long about. I've been contemplating trying on my own in 5 years no matter what my circumstances. Another good reason to finish school and get a kickin' job. We'll see.
Life is truly an adventure and you just never know what it has in store for you around the corner.
4 comments:
I hear you. We never know what life brings our way. Funny that you are saying this, I am trying like crazy not to date anyone, so I will not be in a rebound relationship. So I understand. Good for you for standing strong. Your friends will be your strength too!
You know,if you had asked me a couple years ago what I thought of women who had babies without spouses- I would have told you that those women were simply about to create misery for themselves. If you were to ask me right now if I would consider having a baby without a spouse, based on my experiences, I WOULD ABSOLUTELY DO IT.
It's good to hear you're moving on. School is going to be a great way to keep your mind occupied and focus on other things instead of a relationship. You do need to give yourself time to heal... But I totally understand the temptation of rebound, since I've been there myself.
As for the baby... Give yourself time, but don't give yourself a startup time or a deadline... as soon as you feel you're ready, go for it. You never know what life will throw your way at one point or another, so you have to go with the flow and not be too strict about anything. I always wanted things to fit perfectly, and I've finally figured out sometimes life just isn't like a jigsaw puzzle with perfectly fitted pieces... You have to cut some edges and sand others (Homer would be sooo proud of me now... Did you ever see that chapter where the Simpsons are trying to put together a jigsaw puzzle? LOL... But uhm... What was I saying? Oh yeah...).
Do what you feel is necessary for YOU and what YOU want. If you want to have a kid tomorrow, and you feel ready for it, then do it. If you want to go back to school, then do it. If you want to move, do it. You have to do what you FEEL is right, sometimes a gut instinct is better at telling you what you should do than all the rationale you can muster put together.
Whatever you do, though, I'll be rooting for you ;)
I think it's awesome that you have thought of creating your family, spouse or no spouse. I say - GO FOR IT! Sounds like you have a good plan girl! I am wishing you all the luck in the world for success and happiness!
Post a Comment