Jokes on Me

Mood: Devastated

Pain Scale: 1 million



If anyone has been following this hopeless blog, it's been awhile since I've checked in. Well, that's because I've checked out.



On March 16th I discovered the woman to whom I thought I would share my life with is cheating. She chose a shiny worthless coin over a dull priceless collectible.



I have so many questions that can not be answered and it drives me crazy. Why would she even consider pretending to want to start a family if that wasn't what she wanted? Why put me through that only to totally crush me? I don't understand.



I thought I knew her. You don't know anyone. The only person you can trust is yourself.



Not only is it hard to say goodbye to the woman I loved for 7yrs, but also the family we had dreamed of building. I thought we would be on the way to motherhood right now. Now I'm alone, 30 and have to start all over. What the FUCK.



Why couldn't she just tell me how she was feeling? Am I that hard to talk to? Why play the fucking mind games with me? Damn it.



I have never felt pain like this before and I hate her for introducing me to it. Sure it would have been hard for her to tell me that she thought things weren't working out, but not has hard as the rejection and deception I feel from her running around behind my back. I can't believe a word she says to me. I feel everything she tells me is a fucking lie.



Girls suck.



I'm going to see a therapist on Monday to help me sort out my issues. I need help.



What type of person does that????