tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-94374632011-10-06T13:31:55.194-07:00An ironic title under the circumstances.Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.comBlogger1391100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-60379901087977066162011-01-07T13:19:00.000-08:002011-01-07T13:19:59.771-08:00

Mood: Good, ProductivePain Scale: 4 It's a new year. New goals. Old goals. Refreshed outlook. Why does a new year always feel like the start of new beginnings, when in actuality it's the same old shit that was there before. *shrugs*   Anyhow, I always fall for it. This year my resolution is to make more phone calls. I have some sort of whack-a-doo phone phobia. I literally get sick to my

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-58623561584662225352010-09-10T12:20:00.001-07:002010-09-10T13:09:30.846-07:00

Mood: Sleepy but excited Pain Scale: 3 It's been a year and some change since I've even thought of this blog! Kstar and I were discussing journals last night when she started to question me about my blog (which I had never let her see) whereupon I got....what's the right word....uncomfortable. I've always seen blogs/journals as a private place to write thoughts and feelings...contemplate,

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-6039288829470513132009-08-28T09:04:00.000-07:002009-08-28T11:16:01.060-07:00

Mood: ExcitedPain Scale: 4Relationships are fuckin' hard. Kstar and I are great for each other, but also go head to head sometimes.We often bicker with each other, which then turns into an argument and then into silence because neither of us wants to say sorry. I feel like I'm always the one to go to her to make peace. We are both Aries so have the same traits to deal with: stubbornness, pride,

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-61024062621483146292009-06-30T14:48:00.000-07:002009-06-30T15:41:17.970-07:00

Mood: Change is in the airPain Scale: 4I was looking at my calendar yesterday and going over the huge changes occurring since I've been in massage school and I was taken aback!! It has only been 2.5 weeks and already I can definitely tell this is going to be life altering.At orientation, we were introduced to the Seniors. They had already been in the program for six months. Each one made some

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-71409996418086837482009-06-23T12:40:00.000-07:002009-06-23T15:54:14.935-07:00

Mood: ExhaustedPain Scale: 6I've decided to do put my healing energy to work and started massage school!! I am super excited about it. It's been about two weeks since the first day of class and I. AM. LOVING. IT.I really hadn't anticipated liking it as much as I do. I feel this was exactly what I was looking for, but for some reason didn't see it previously. I had considered enrolling right

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-87541712631908596422009-05-01T22:58:00.000-07:002009-05-01T23:00:26.090-07:00

I don't want to be insecure.I don't want to be afraid to love again.I don't want to have trust issues.I want to believe you love me.I want to believe you will be here forever.I want to think I am enough.I'm scared.

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-90598903980285933592009-03-18T09:29:00.000-07:002009-03-18T10:12:42.658-07:00

Mood: LostPain Scale: 4What the hell am I doing? I can't recall a time where I've felt more lost. I get these crazy impulsive itches to move or quit dancing or quit my social group or to just plain run away from everything!! I'm guessing that it stems down to finding out who I am. I sooo wish I would have gone through this in my 20s like most people. This is a hard task and I am not really

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-28485386411931221242009-03-12T14:04:00.000-07:002009-03-13T15:31:59.297-07:00

Mood: Sad, PMS, TiredPain Scale: 8I'm not quite sure why, but lately I have been SUPER sad again over J. Maybe it's cause the therapy sessions are bringing it up and making me deal with it all or maybe it's just the time of year or maybe it's just my damn PMS.It will be two years ago this coming Tuesday. That dreaded day I confronted her and realized life as I knew it was changing drastically.

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-87808541547092590882009-03-04T14:24:00.001-08:002009-03-04T14:34:14.477-08:00

Mood: Tired and sickPain Scale: 6Can I just tell you how sick I am of being sick!! I'm coming up on 5 (yes, she said FIVE) weeks of this yucky, crappy, coughy, congested, tired iks!! Got a doc appointment this afternoon. I will have to revisit the conversation we had in October about there being something wrong with me!! There just has to be! I've never been this sick in my life! Today I was

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-33835686761887493252009-02-27T15:25:00.000-08:002009-02-27T15:44:04.910-08:00

Mood: WhateverPain Scale: 7Rolling along here...sometimes at light speed and sometimes at a slow crawl. I've been keeping myself pretty busy with work, socializing and volunteering. Been seeing a therapist on a weekly basis. I do NOT think this is much fun. Good for me I suppose.Wasn't lookin' to date anyone, but then again it always happens when we aren't looking. It's someone I've known from

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-76061167780141174422009-01-08T15:09:00.001-08:002009-01-08T15:13:50.751-08:00

we had gone to counselingI knew what I was doingI didn't hurt so muchI had some directionI wasn't so neuroticI didn't have FibromyalgiaI would have went to college while I was youngeryou were still with meI was in PortlandCindy were hereI was strongertexting was NEVER inventedit was 5pm

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-56049539985656006622008-11-14T13:20:00.001-08:002008-11-14T13:32:21.496-08:00

Pain Scale: 8Mood: Glad it's FridaySo much has happened since I last posted!! I've been super busy with protesting, dancing and just hanging with new people the I've been neglecting blog land.1st off YAY!! for our new president!!! 2nd...what in the HELL California!! What an upset. So LAME. LAME. LAME. LAME.Well for all of you out there that are also outraged by the passing of Prop 8, tomorrow is

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-9301700561811611912008-10-27T10:51:00.000-07:002008-10-27T11:04:29.835-07:00

Mood: HypedPain Scale: 4On Sunday I attended the biggest Northern California rally against prop 8!! It was awesome!! There were 175 people there. We were LOUD!!! Tons of support from the cars, lots of honking and thumbs up signs.Got a couple of negative responses, but that is to be expected. It was so awesome to be a part of this. I've been waiting for a chance to get out there and be heard and

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-83344497928500954132008-10-17T13:05:00.001-07:002008-10-17T13:17:45.188-07:00

Mood: Blah!Pain Scale: 7I am sick again!! I am sooooo tired of being sick. My immune system really sucks this year! I've had this ugly cold since LAST Thursday. UGH. Cough/Green snot/Congestion/Deaf/Dizzy/Low Energy.I've made an appointment with the Doc for Monday. I think at this point the uggy green goblins should be gone from my nose, not building houses!! Hopefully it's something they can

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-90133147008866175112008-10-08T11:41:00.001-07:002008-10-08T11:51:51.730-07:00

Mood: EnergeticPain Scale: 3Well, I've been back for about a week and half. BUMMER. I was SO bummed to come back home. I didn't really realize it until I was getting ready for the airport and the blues hit me. It's taken me about a week to get over them!! But now I'm on the ups and feeling good.Hawaii was great! It was fun to go with a group of gals. This was my first "Girls" trip and I have to

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-59242722444536600432008-09-17T15:51:00.000-07:002008-09-17T16:08:35.564-07:00

Mood: Fairly good, a little bloatedPain Scale: 2T-minus 2.5 days till HAWAII!! Yaaaay!! I will be going to Maui for 7 whole days!! Whoop! Whoop! I'm actually not super excited yet, cause it doesn't quite feel real. I'm sure by Friday I will be feeling the ocean breezes calling louder.Originally I had planned this trip with 15 way back in January. So upon the breakup I had to scramble to

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-75480068299438029672008-09-12T13:14:00.000-07:002008-09-12T13:22:08.640-07:00

Mood: SickPain Scale: 5The Five Love Languages. Ever since this book was introduced to me by my ex in the early stages of our relationship, I've tried to pass it on to anyone who will read it!! It makes so much sense to me and it really helped me be able to articulate what I needed from someone else. I highly recommend this book to everyone out there!! It's a must read!!So I took this little quiz

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-13554873123015931302008-09-09T12:55:00.001-07:002008-09-09T13:42:46.642-07:00

Mood: Super Cranky Pain Scale: 3I dropped my classes. The story goes...My first class was to start last Wednesday at 6pm. The school is "15" min from my house by freeway. I gave myself 40 min to get there, park and find my class.The traffic getting there was a NIGHT.MARE. I knew there would be traffic on the freeway, come on it's rush hour, but the traffic trying to get to the school after the

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-22912161451091227782008-08-21T08:23:00.001-07:002008-08-21T08:38:41.666-07:00

Mood: PMSPain Scale: 4I decided to pick a class from both majors. A business class and a class about colors. I will be going three days a week, M.W.TH. I hope I can pull this off!! What am I saying...I WILL pull this off.Now I feel like I'm just waiting to get started. I've only got one free week left. That's fine with me. I need something to occupy my mind and time.I will be missing the

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-30782515495497215942008-08-18T08:34:00.000-07:002008-08-18T13:33:45.198-07:00

Mood: PTSPain Scale: 5It all started Friday...I was awoken around 3am to a helicopter flying around outside. I didn't think much of this because it's not THAT unusual. Around 330 I was shaken awake as the helicopter flew really close to my house. This was NOT usual. I knew something was going on outside, but I decided to try and go back to sleep and maybe it would be all gone in the morning.

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-66862682284980195922008-08-13T08:50:00.001-07:002008-08-13T09:00:58.802-07:00

Mood: WaitingPain Scale: 4The dinner didn't happen, but I'm fine with it. 15 took Bucket this weekend and I'm sad about it. I got my student number and now trying to decide what classes to take.I am still contemplating accounting vs photography degrees...yeah totally opposite. Logic vs artistic. I'm leaning towards the accounting degree just for longevity reasons. It's more of a sure thing and

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-63369568432688676502008-08-07T08:46:00.001-07:002008-08-07T09:14:57.083-07:00

Mood: Feeling stupidPain Scale: 4Alright...I've been holding out on you guys. I did something stupid and I don't know what I was thinking. I asked J if she wanted to have dinner. Not because I want to get back with her, but I was feeling I needed to talk to her. I'm looking for closure I guess. It was really nagging me and wouldn't let me rest, so I texted her about two weeks ago to ask.She

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-26033370440089721952008-08-05T14:31:00.000-07:002008-08-05T19:56:59.903-07:00

Mood: ExcitedPain Scale: 8 (note to self: due to too much weekend partying, take it easy)This weekend I rolled down a grassy hill!! And NO, it wasn't an accident. I saw this perfect hill and commented to my friend "That's the perfect hill to roll down, we'll have to do that one of these days." She says "There's no time like the present." and off we were, removing our shoes and trekking to the

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-8487893665831320002008-08-01T14:21:00.001-07:002008-08-01T14:32:33.202-07:00

Mood: SadPain Scale: 3Well...today is the day. 15 is moving out. The official day is really Saturday, but I'm going to bunk up in a hotel for the night. I figured it would be better for both of us that way. She can pack and get ready for Saturday without the crazy emotional mess that would be created by my presence.We didn't really officially say goodbye. We hung out with each other last

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-10161056056662478292008-07-26T13:47:00.000-07:002008-07-26T14:07:58.223-07:00

Mood: BoredPain Scale: 3It's hard to get used to being by yourself. Weird. Trying to find things to fill my time seems like a challenge. I'm sure I will get used to it.15 will be moving out this coming weekend. We go from good days to bad days. She says she understands where I'm coming from and that she knew she was taking a risk when she got involved with me. I did tell her everything up

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-40043518750616910262008-07-17T16:32:00.000-07:002008-07-17T16:50:51.946-07:00

Mood: ContemplativePain Scale: 8Well...I broke 15's heart. I called the whole thing off. I know...how heartless. I had many reasons for this, but the biggest was I'm just not ready for another huge relationship. I want to be selfish. I don't want to compromise with someone else. When you find your mind and heart consumed so much with the past, you're just not ready for the future.Why don't I

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-41284385307483842492008-07-11T13:10:00.000-07:002008-07-11T15:44:41.322-07:00

Mood: Trying not to be angryPain Scale: 4I know hatred is a strong word and I used to not have room for it in my life, but ever since the EX, I've harbored it. I suppose it metamorphosed from the intense love I had for her. In fact part of me still has love for her which fuels the hatred more. I had never really felt hatred before and I wish it never slithered it's way into my life. But it's

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-81781674696814056522008-06-30T13:42:00.001-07:002008-06-30T14:22:38.016-07:00

Mood: Still DisappointedPain Scale: 3Well the big Pride weekend has come and gone. BOO HOO.15 and I had made plans to go, as it was going to be one of SF's biggest Prides ever, and definitely history making! We had booked a room and planned to stay from Friday through Sunday. Some of her friends from Sacramento were meeting us there. I was super pumped come Friday afternoon!! We hadn't been out

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-54663526708266199702008-06-18T11:04:00.000-07:002008-06-18T11:23:13.654-07:00

Mood: OKPain Scale: 3Father's Day was horrible!! 15's dad came down for a 2.5 day visit./2.5!!/ 15 was very excited because her dad has never really visited her life before. He met her at work on Friday as did I. All went well that night. She was having a barbecue for her employees and all moods were jovial. There were many distractions and others to talk to. But the days to follow felt like

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-26519750091310628662008-06-03T09:32:00.000-07:002009-08-28T12:33:02.878-07:00

Mood: Wishing I had more energy and evil PMSPain Scale: 5Ok, you can call me a slacker!! I've been super slackin' in blog land! Lots of updates I need to catch up on...whoa.New Kitty named Jasmine. We got our boy Bucket a companion. This time it's a little bitty trouble makin' kitten. She's super cute but full of trouble. We even contemplated naming her trouble. She is keeping Bucket on his paws

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-84070803043191668452008-05-15T10:24:00.001-07:002008-05-15T10:30:44.786-07:00

Mood: Over JoyedPain Scale: 4FINALLY!!! CA supreme court ruled today that Gay marriage in CA is legal!!! Whhhhhhhhhhhhoooooooooooooooooooooooo hooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!! It feels so great to have the same right as everyone else when it comes to marriage!!! I just can't beleive it!! That is sooo awesome!! I actually got teary eyed! It feels really nice to have your long term relationship

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-58829878909126164232008-04-16T14:57:00.000-07:002008-04-16T15:11:11.902-07:00

Attention Seattle Readers with young ones!!!My mom, who lives in Seattle, has openings for families looking for a hip lesbian Nanny to watch their kids.My mom is a great Nanny (and of course mom). Here are some of her highlights:Worked as a teacher for many, many years in PortlandProgressiveOpen MindedLoves kidsInventive and CreativeTeaches baby sign languageHas 7 children of her own (5 of

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-55747384688825495602008-04-03T14:46:00.000-07:002008-04-03T15:02:39.457-07:00

Mood: Embarrassingly excitedPain Scale: 7OK. I admit it...I was a New Kid junkie!! There, I said it. Yup, I had them plastered all over my walls, peachies, owned almost everything to do with them and they were my first live concert.I just heard that the New Kids are creating a reunion tour and coming out with a new album! WHAT!! Could this be true?? NKOTB back!! Bringing us new sticky gooey love

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-66243159558903018782008-03-31T14:44:00.000-07:002008-03-31T14:57:18.664-07:00

You said it, Darth will definitely get ya!!

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-11331877250699647172008-03-10T15:18:00.000-07:002008-03-10T15:31:30.393-07:00

Mood: TiredPain Scale: 4It started with 15...the narly flu that has been going around. She had become contaminated the 2 weekends before last. At first we thought it was just a cold, but then the high fever hit and I put myself on contact restriction, but to no avail. It got me!It's super high fever put me down for 4 days. The total duration of this crazy super flu put me out for about 6-7 days.

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-70053366172410241752008-02-21T08:15:00.000-08:002008-02-21T08:31:39.228-08:00

Ok...here's the crazy random curved wall (with an extra Bucket photo op bonus)!Any ideas?? The living room is painted a muted purplish color (called clay pot). This wall faces the front door as you walk in. It seperates the living room from the kitchen. Livingroom on the left side, dining room on the right side. There is a counter and cabnits on the back side, so a bar or window is out!! The

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-8233906164324190212008-02-12T13:56:00.001-08:002008-02-12T14:22:46.745-08:00

Mood: visions of successPain Scale: 6I enrolled in the gym today!! I figured it's time to start toning up again. I am usually a gym goer, but haven't gone since last summer. It's time. I signed up for Gold's Gym which is only 3 blocks from me, which I hope will encourage my lazy ass to go. I've heard that Gold's is full of meat heads, but I'm going to try it out any way. It didn't look to meaty

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-9004857655064248572008-02-04T13:20:00.000-08:002008-02-04T13:56:39.686-08:00

Mood: Flash back feverPain Scale: 4I don't know if it's just the time of year or the fact J has contacted me recently, but I keep getting wierd flash back feelings of the tramatic events of last year. I keep thinking "Wow, it's been almost a year...a month from now I found out J was not what she seemed and my world changed as I knew it. How could she have treated me so awfully?? What the hell

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-72088529928525856482008-01-16T10:41:00.000-08:002008-01-21T12:41:10.902-08:00

Mood: Busy, busy, busyPain Scale: 4I got a new kitty!!! His name is Bucket (cause he's a love bucket) and maybe around 2 yrs old. 15 and I went to the local shelter to find a kitty. When we walked by his horrible tiny cage he meowed at us, so in all reality he PICKED us out!!He is very cute and lovable. I was a little afraid at first, being that he was from the shelter and all, but he is such a

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-64381380963369870472008-01-04T07:38:00.000-08:002008-01-04T08:20:23.589-08:00

Mood: goals, goals, goalsPain Scale: 3Happy new year everyone!!! Finally the dreadful, horrible, evil year of 2007 is OVER!!! I'm ecstatic!!Recap of 2007:First auto accident (not to mention in my first new car)Grandma P. diedJ's Grandma diedUncle diedAunt diedDad cut off two fingers in saw accidentJ found cheatingFiled for divorceSold houselost my dog in the divorcemoved in with myselfmet 15!

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-81319566546604675472007-12-19T08:12:00.001-08:002007-12-19T08:32:08.418-08:00

Mood: BusyPain Scale: 5I can't believe so much time has passed since I last posted!! This last month has gone soooo fast and I can't believe it's only 6 days til Christmas!! Holy cow! Thanks to the readers who shook me and said "Where the hell are you?"Ok, so some quick updates:Thanksgiving - I went to my Dad's for Thanksgiving near Bend, OR. COLD. COLD. COLD. My ass was freezing! I should have

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-43433551052080548722007-11-15T09:22:00.000-08:002007-11-15T09:43:03.664-08:00

Mood: GoodPain Scale: 3 I started seeing 15 again! I know...crazy girl, but I couldn't legitimize not seeing her if I was missing her company so much! Life is short. So I called her up and we had dinner. It was really, really nice. I have strong feelings for her and vice versa. So the saga continues.I haven't spoken with J for 3 weeks and that has helped me tremendously. I had to say goodbye

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-42926907035320125632007-11-07T13:04:00.000-08:002007-11-07T13:19:25.481-08:00

Mood: OKPain Scale: 3Bowling went well on Sunday. A bit more meat marketish, but I still had fun. I think I may have a hard time finding friends, because it seems everyone wants something more from me, but we'll see.Got the couches. YEAH!! and a little BOO! There was a nick on the back of one and they were very dirty. I called the customer service line and told them I wanted to exchange them

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-68930427464947239152007-10-30T20:10:00.000-07:002007-10-30T20:28:22.052-07:00

Mood: Shaken!...under my feet!!Oh my god!! We just had an earthquake!! That was a good one! Not sure where it originated yet, but it was strong! Nothing fell and broke. I'm surprised.I ran under a doorway thinking it would be gone quickly, but it just kept rumbling. I've been in them before, but usually it doesn't last that long. After it stopped, I thought to myself, I better get my ass outside

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-7071014173743674602007-10-30T19:35:00.000-07:002007-10-30T20:00:19.405-07:00

Mood: More of the samePain Scale: 4Just pondering what is next? I am soo out of sorts, I just don't know quite what to do with myself. Just trying to get by the day to day stuff right now. I'm trying to make a small goal for myself, cause I know that always helps with motivation, but can't seem to get myself going. It's hard to get out of bed just to face the new day. I know things will get

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-6917562074154320462007-10-19T14:56:00.001-07:002007-10-19T15:28:57.762-07:00

Mood: Sad, sad and more sadPain Scale: 4For some reason I just can't seem to shake the blues. I'm unmotivated, cry at the drop of a hat and everything seems wrong. I hate even getting out of bed in the morning. I think I'm in a little bit of a depression right now and I'm trying my hardest to dig my way out. I just don't have the energy.Last Saturday J and I met up to sign the papers. So it's

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-14290491521722335822007-10-09T14:40:00.001-07:002007-10-09T15:18:19.490-07:00

Mood: LostPain Scale: LotsI broke it off with 15 again last night. I felt horrible and don't even know if it was the right decision. All I know is I don't have the energy to put into another relationship. I'm not ready to compromise. My feelings for her are very strong and I love being with her, so it will be hard and lonely to say goodbye.I feel like I'm floating. I don't know which

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-36498582162028418602007-10-04T08:41:00.000-07:002007-10-04T13:04:25.063-07:00

Mood: DepressedPain Scale: 5I've had a really hard week this week. It seems my wound has been torn open and is bleeding. I feel so much pain. I just want it to stop and scab back up so it can continue to heal.I don't know if it has to do with the final sale of the house or what, but I can't help but keep asking "Why would she do something like that?" I really don't understand. I invested so much

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-75488084159355573192007-09-24T08:41:00.000-07:002007-10-04T13:10:25.142-07:00

Mood: DepressedPain Scale: 6The house officially closed last Friday. I didn't expect to feel the sadness and anger that came with it. I thought I would be relieved and elated, which I was, but in a more deflated type way.The buyers pulled a last minuet maneuver which angered me to NO end. They had us in a corner and we had to agree to an additional $750 credit. ARGGGGG!! This also renewed some

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-64763183132578675812007-09-12T08:32:00.001-07:002007-10-04T13:11:00.094-07:00

Mood: goodPain Scale: 6I just have to share this site with everyone!! I love it to bits! I've tried many a diets (who hasn't), when I finally gave in and tried Weight Watchers ( I always thought it was for old ladies). To my surprise it worked and it worked well. Their ideas fit my ideas on what healthy eating really is. It wasn't just some fad diet that was hard to follow and made you eat

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-18767606183520261892007-09-07T11:54:00.000-07:002007-10-04T13:11:58.847-07:00

Mood: PMSPain Scale: 6pas·sion [pash-uhn] noun1. any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, as love or hate.2. strong amorous feeling or desire; love; ardor.3. strong sexual desire; lust.4. an instance or experience of strong love or sexual desire.5. a person toward whom one feels strong love or sexual desire.6. a strong or extravagant fondness, enthusiasm, or desire for anything: a passion

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-61683843232458322202007-09-04T13:54:00.000-07:002007-10-04T13:13:07.564-07:00

Mood: a tad sadPain Scale: 5Yes, lashing with a wet noodle!! I have been slacking with the updates! A lot has happened in the last month. Let's see, where to start...15:Around the third week of August, I had decided to put on my running shoes and call it quits with 15. It wasn't that I didn't like her anymore, quite the opposite. It was the fact that we were getting so serious and I could

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-61227545794149108402007-08-07T13:24:00.000-07:002007-08-07T14:33:10.892-07:00

Mood: AngryPain Scale: 7I have found that I still harbor a lot of anger towards J. It could be that it's being amplified by my PMS, but nevertheless I've felt it strongly this last week. I've had a hard time not saying mean things to her or calling her just to rant and rave at how I think this sucks and how unfair and heartless it is.Sometimes shock hits me unexpectedly as I fumble through this

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-75183869399352524362007-08-06T08:24:00.000-07:002007-08-09T09:18:12.543-07:00

Mood: GoodPain Scale: 6Did I ever tell you that I LOVE PORTLAND!!! It was sooooooooo good to visit. I always forget (or maybe I just deny) how much I love that damn city. It really is where I consider home.It was great to see the extended family. I haven't seen many of them in sooo many years. It was weird to see all my little cousins grown up and with kids!! My brother made a comment to me, "So,

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-2832026703414084772007-07-26T09:18:00.000-07:002007-07-26T09:34:49.776-07:00

Mood: ContentPain Scale: 5So...we had the talk. It went well. At first she seemed a little freaked out, but as I tried to explain it she seemed to understand where I was coming from and reciprocated the need to take it slow (like any lesbian can do that!). So, we decided to take it day by day and see where it takes us. Phewwww. It just feels uber good to get that off my chest and out in the open.

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-4556120568664698802007-07-18T10:19:00.000-07:002007-07-18T10:41:39.272-07:00

Mood: ConfusedPain Scale: 6I'm confused. I wish I would have met 15 a year from now. She makes me breathless, I love hanging out with her, I can see her in my future, we have a REAL connection and yet I know I'm not ready for a committed relationship. I keep pondering how I should say it to her. I know she knows where I'm at, but I don't want to hurt her even if she's willing to take that chance

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-34792882830248977322007-07-11T10:28:00.001-07:002007-07-11T10:49:41.874-07:00

Mood: GiddyPain Scale: 315 is truly rocking my world right now. It scares the shit out of me!! She herself is pretty frightened as well. We definitely were not prepared to meet each other. Where the hell did she come from? I never imagined I would have such intense feelings so soon. I thought I would never feel this way ever again. I was pretty much convinced of it even though everyone just

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-70814264816417635602007-07-05T13:21:00.000-07:002007-07-18T10:39:27.121-07:00

Mood: Infatuated Pain Scale: 3I've met someone.The story goes:Some friends and I decided to go out dancing at one of the local gay clubs. LK said she was going to be my wing-man and find me a girl. I laughed "I'm not ready for a girl!" As we were all standing there sipping our cocktails she points and says "How bout that one, she has good hair." As I turn to check her out, one of the other

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-76514376125148418892007-06-19T15:15:00.000-07:002007-06-19T16:03:17.417-07:00

Mood: Not bad, Not greatPain Scale: 4A lot has been happening lately. I've definitely kept myself busy.First news. The sale fell through. PHEWY!! They didn't have enough money for the down payment the loan company required. Damn. The house is back on the market and hopefully we'll get another offer any day now!! }}}}}buy vibes{{{{{{Second news. I've moved. I feel relieved as well as sad. It feels

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-41532208162394685822007-06-07T13:37:00.001-07:002007-06-07T13:58:45.590-07:00

Mood: ExhaustedPain Scale: 7Well, we have an offer on the house and it looks like it will sold by July 10th. Part of me is relieved and another part is sick with sorrow. It sucks to be selling our house. I am so not ready to move and be on my own.J has already gotten another house and is staying there. I hate that I'm stuck still living in the house that was ours surrounded by all the

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-43832908466149871982007-05-31T21:30:00.001-07:002007-05-31T22:04:18.499-07:00

Mood: ConfusedPain Scale: 6Where do I go from here? I was preparing to be a mother. I had decided to give up my dreams for a family. Maybe I should rephrase that...one of my dreams WAS to have a family. I had fully dedicated myself to having a family. Where do I go from here? I don't know the single me. What do I do? I can truly say that I'm going through family withdrawal. The only "

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-37110859044378793222007-05-20T23:31:00.000-07:002007-05-21T00:01:33.435-07:00

Mood: Complete DevestationPain Scale: 6I am bleeding in more ways than one. My heart is bleeding as well as my body.This period has been so hard for me. It symbolizes the child that will never be. I feel the pain of the loss as I shed. I can't stop crying about it. I wanted a family soo badly. I thought that was what she wanted too. Why would she lead me to believe in that??The physcial

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-6805231142872546562007-05-17T15:15:00.000-07:002007-05-17T15:41:17.526-07:00

Mood: Lonely/SadPain Scale: 7I forgot to mention my crazy Saturday night.So, if you read my previous post regarding going out last Wednesday, I did work up the nerve to go out. It was a total bust. There were only about 6 people in the bar and only 4 were females. I did however meet someone and had good conversation. No dancing though. Since the whole reason for going out on Wednesday was to do

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-43700661020928993422007-05-15T12:04:00.000-07:002007-05-15T12:17:06.845-07:00

Mood: DepressedPain Scale: 8I am sooo tired today. The littlest things seem to overwhelm me. I just want to curl up in a ball on my comfortable bed and go to sleep and shut out the world. On the other hand I hate being in the house we once called ours. The house we bought to start a family in. The memories I see as I look around drain and depress me too. I feel there isn't anywhere for me

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-42629944367171796112007-05-09T15:54:00.000-07:002007-05-09T16:09:56.039-07:00

Mood: PoopyPain Scale: 6Thank you for those of you who sent me some words of encouragement. I'm doing. Yeah...just doing. Not good. Not horrible. Just there. Sometimes it's all I can do not to cry and then sometimes it's all I can do not to set our house on fire in rage.I have another appointment with the shrink tomorrow. I'm not sure she is meshing well with me. They say you should give a

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-88056499510057139182007-04-24T14:46:00.000-07:002007-04-24T15:04:46.553-07:00

Mood: DevastatedPain Scale: 1 millionIf anyone has been following this hopeless blog, it's been awhile since I've checked in. Well, that's because I've checked out.On March 16th I discovered the woman to whom I thought I would share my life with is cheating. She chose a shiny worthless coin over a dull priceless collectible.I have so many questions that can not be answered and it drives me crazy.

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-47764074633182152502007-03-05T14:39:00.000-08:002007-03-05T14:45:58.164-08:00

Mood: TiredPain Scale: 4Only 8 days until the Conception Roller Coaster is due to begin! I can't believe it's almost here! I feel like we've been in the planning stages for eons. I'm ready for action! (Of course AF could trick me and elude her visit for a few days just to drive me insane.)

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-60643807950589831102007-03-02T19:48:00.000-08:002007-03-02T21:24:36.441-08:00

I need to vent to the world of TTCing women!*Disclaimer: I love my partner to death! She is very supportive and very understanding but...she doesn't get why I'm soooo obsessive about this whole charting, temping, counting, looking, prodding, journaling, cycle thing and why I have a hard time not thinking about it! Tonight she was talking to her brother and when she got off the phone I couldn't

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-66104812381403863672007-03-02T17:36:00.000-08:002007-03-02T21:34:27.045-08:00

Mood: HappyPain Scale: 3Weight: 131 I know...I have a weird sense of humor...but I still have to share!! Come on, it's going to be a cult classic!Shun the nonbeliever!!

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-79380864706675021872007-03-01T13:55:00.000-08:002007-03-01T14:20:50.457-08:00

Mood: irritable & bloatedPain Scale: 4It is driving me crazy with the unknown of what clomid will do to my cycle. I feel like I need to plan and plot to the best of my abilities for the upcoming cycle, but then again what will the clomid do??? Will I have a 28 day period like the majority? Will I have strong ovulation pains? Will my CM dry up? Will I be a raving bitch? Will anyone want to be

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-12696365287315089962007-02-27T07:26:00.000-08:002007-03-01T17:08:58.589-08:00

Mood: ExcitedPain Scale: 3Yippee!!! Finally! I feel like I've peed on all the sticks in the world!! It's all down hill from here. Next period should be here in about 2 weeks!! I am SO excited (I never get used to getting excited about AF). I really, really, really, really, really, really hope that the boys are ready!! If they're not...I will go crazy!! KD still needs to go in for the blood work

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-30608448973565905492007-02-26T13:41:00.000-08:002007-03-01T17:14:56.647-08:00

Ok. I'm gonna try again to cut out coffee tomorrow. No, I swear.No coffee.

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-70040292019247736022007-02-26T07:28:00.000-08:002007-03-01T17:22:04.416-08:00

Mood: Dazed and ConfusedPain Scale: 4Weight: 131.6I can NOT sleep!! It's been like this for the past week. It's really starting to tick me off because it's messing up my chart! When I get home from work I am drop dead tired. I usually go to bed after J leaves for work, 7:30. I read for awhile and then shut out the lights. Sometimes I can't fall asleep right away and sometimes I can fall asleep

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-7239208961476789372007-02-22T11:12:00.000-08:002007-03-01T17:24:01.768-08:00

Mood: CrappyPain Scale: 6I just feel crappy today. I don't know if it's the lack of sleep, the TTC journey or the weather but I'm in a poopy mood!I have so much self doubt. J and I keep arguing over the smallest stuff. It's raining outside, take that back, now it's hailing. Our car is in the shop. My boss is out of town for the week (in a normal world this would be good, but he is the only other

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-58962582852412492282007-02-16T13:18:00.000-08:002007-03-01T17:26:49.559-08:00

Mood: SorePain Scale: 6Weight: 132I was pondering just how am I going to come up with excuses for all the IUI appointments???I work in a really small office (me + the boss). I work from 7am - 3pm, so it is a possibility to make all my appointments after 3pm. But is this realistic? At this point I don't know how many ACTUAL appointments there will be. We haven't discussed if we will be monitoring

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-51098335683011983032007-02-14T07:25:00.000-08:002007-03-01T17:30:59.999-08:00

Mood: AngryPain Scale: 7Weight: 132.4We were rear-ended on Monday. Funny enough I had played hookey from work to hang out with the wife when the incident occurred. We were on our way home sitting STOPPED at a red light when WHAM!!! This guy barrels into us at approx. 25-30 mph!! We heard no screeching breaks or anything. I hit the steering wheel and my knee hit the dashboard. Wife hit the

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-75175743201317083512007-02-08T20:04:00.000-08:002007-03-01T17:32:02.207-08:00

Mood: UnorganizedPain Scale: 6Tomorrow I am going to try and drop the coffee...YIKES. ""bites nails"" Hopefully it's not as bad as I know it will be. I'm going to drink green tea and fertili-tea (catchy name isn't it) instead. I know you're saying "You crazy chic, there's still caffeine in that!!". I'm not switching to quit the caffeine just yet. I'm switching to enhance my CM as well as help me

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-42015407640134509242007-02-07T07:33:00.000-08:002007-03-01T17:33:22.918-08:00

Mood: ImpatientPain Scale: 5J is sooo excited! I have never seen her get all excited like this, even when we were in the process of trying way back when. Now I know we made the right choice to use Dr. Z and do IUIs. I really didn't realize how much stress it put her under when we were doing it ourselves at home. I know she didn't like seeing, touching or handling her brothers swimmers, I mean who

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-70842396245925080312007-02-06T07:40:00.000-08:002007-03-01T17:41:47.062-08:00

Mood: nervousPain Scale: 3The PD appointment went great!! We discussed all our insemination options: home vs. office, clomid vs. no clomid. We took all the options with us and talked with the boys about them and came up with the following game plan:We're going with in office IUIsWe are going to use clomidWe may possibly supplement the IUI with 1 home insem as wellWe are starting not this cycle

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-72765971548130020942007-02-02T13:51:00.000-08:002007-03-01T17:44:58.583-08:00

Mood: Tired of painPain Scale: 7Weight: 133.6I was quite surprised today at the meeting when I actually lost weight. I had to look at the number twice! I didn't have a horribly bad week food wise, but it wasn't the best either. My uterus also feels like it's about to fall out at any second. I usually always gain or stay the same when AF is near. My whole body feels like it's been someones

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-65654295459557368942007-02-01T14:16:00.000-08:002007-03-01T17:48:43.171-08:00

Mood: ExcitedPain level: 6I can't stop thinking about March!! At work I continuously grab my calendar and look at my upcoming predicted cycle dates and daydream...~big belly~pre-natal pilates~homemade baby food~cloth diapers~ strollers~ maternity leave~nursing~maternity clothes~birth~midwives~pregnancy test~ the announcement~baby clothes~play dates~*SIGH*It can't come fast enough! Those boys

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-71549239512079872512007-01-29T18:39:00.000-08:002007-03-01T17:50:00.001-08:00

Mood: GrouchyPain Level: 7My back is KILLING me today. I'm not sure if it's the Fibro or what. I DO know that AF is on the way and my body always gets more painful at that time. AHHHHHHH. It makes it sooo hard to concentrate!!! I have our trusty ole raw popcorn homemade heat bag thinga-ma-jig on my neck right now. oooooo feels good. Hopefully tomorrow it will feel better. This is one of those

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-49965051924253296122007-01-26T13:40:00.000-08:002007-03-01T17:51:54.301-08:00

Mood: OptimisticPain Scale: 4Weight: 134.8I am feeling very good and optimistic today. I feel like we're on the right track and this baby thing just may happen!! We have our PD appointment coming up in about a week. We've invited the boys as well. I hope they can make it. I think it would be good if all of us could be there. So, hopefully we will formulate a game plan so my crazy anxiety about a

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-71932362912193259952007-01-05T14:46:00.000-08:002007-03-01T17:54:13.238-08:00

Mood: OptimisticPain Scale: 3Weight: 140Operation Boat BodyMy partner and I just bought a boat and we decided we are in need of a little slimming and toning before boat season comes around!! I've been trying to lose weight to get pregnant for a year now and I can't seem to kick my own butt in gear so I'm getting someone to kick it for me and then I will go home and kick my partners. :) In theory

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-24325882856939373712006-12-29T07:29:00.000-08:002007-03-01T17:57:34.309-08:00

Mood: family, family, familyPain Scale: 7I've been MIA for quite a while now. Sorry...needed a break. Sometimes charting for no reason just gets to you and makes the time go by soo MUCH slower. I get so obsessed with charting, stalking the boards and dreaming about what could be, that I can drive myself to insanity!!! BREATH. BREATH. As soon as I start my next cycle (which is any day now) I will

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-47635479267964301992006-12-06T07:41:00.000-08:002007-03-01T17:59:05.085-08:00

Mood: TiredPain Scale: 4The boys are still a go!! Yeah! J had a chance to bring up the topic and they replied that they are still in it to win it! NICE. They said they would be ready around March or April (due to testing that needs to be done first). A little sad, but at least we now have a time frame of when this project will get it's spermy grant to continue on. On the positive side, this gives

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-57934506244221392542006-12-05T08:24:00.000-08:002007-03-01T18:00:54.602-08:00

Mood: HappyPain Scale: 6Our appointment with Dr. Z was awesome!! I was sooo nervous before going that I was a total beeyoch to J **grimace**, but my fears were put to rest! Dr. Z made me feel very comfortable and I didn't feel judged or stupid (even with her finger up my anus, suprise)! She also has these cool PD chairs instead of the regular o'le spread-um tables. Way more comfortable! **I love

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-45712026475635538782006-11-28T11:59:00.000-08:002007-03-01T18:01:53.720-08:00

Mood: irritable, impatient, nervousPain Scale: 8I'm sooo nervous. It's 6 days until I have to go see a stranger and talk about sperm plans, my lesbian lifestyle, and let her peak at my nether lands!!! I hate the PD!! I hope she is as open minded as she appears!! I also haven't started my period yet! I thought I would have started by now, but of course not. Nothing goes as planned. Oh well, maybe

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-1163107121405219782006-11-09T13:13:00.000-08:002007-03-01T18:03:30.079-08:00

This video got me rollin!!Nothing is better than a baby's laugh!

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-1163090510636585012006-11-09T08:22:00.000-08:002007-03-01T18:04:39.151-08:00

Mood: time confusedPain Scale: 7I have rescheduled our PD appointment to a more convenient time for J. The last appointment was just too early for her on a day she has to go to work*. It is now December 4 @ 1pm. *sigh* Seems so far away...but on the other hand I feel as if there isn't enough time in the day to work, study, go to school, clean the house, eat and sleep. I am feeling time confused.

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-1162828036186019762006-11-06T07:41:00.000-08:002007-03-01T18:07:07.568-08:00

Mood: TiredPain Scale: 2I've set up an appointment with an OB (otherwise known as the PD: pussy dr)that seems to maybe fit the bill. She delivers at my #1 preferred hospital, she takes our insurance and she SEEMS queer friendly. I haven't found out if she does fresh IUI or if she works with midwives. I'm not too worried about the midwife thing becuase the hospital I chose has Midwives working in

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-1162397263551650502006-11-01T07:46:00.000-08:002007-03-01T18:10:58.163-08:00

Mood: Mad as hellPain scale: 6So the time is growing nearer and we're on the hunt to find the perfect Dr. The hunt is frustrating me to death. I am very particular when it comes to who's going to be poking and proding my nether regions for 9 consecutive months! So, I suppose a lot of the frustration I'm feeling is do to my strict guidelines. This is what I'm looking for:Queer friendly OBOB that

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-1159886158120126092006-10-03T07:34:00.000-07:002007-03-01T17:17:51.891-08:00

Mood: impatientPain Scale: 3Doesn't seem like when your TTC that there is a baby or pregnant woman around every turn!! I know it's just that you notice them more than you did previously, but gosh, they are everywhere!!!

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-1159658945379006882006-09-30T16:25:00.000-07:002007-03-01T17:17:12.145-08:00

Mood: high on enzymesPain scale: 4Twiddle Twiddle TwiddleDid I already say I can't wait to start??? I CAN'T WAIT TO START. Some days the times seems to slowly creep on by.We have started a new way of eating. We are switching to an all raw diet! Yup, that means no cooked foods. It's actually easier than I thought it would be. The food is very good. I feel good. I've already lost weight. It's

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-1157744513224769852006-09-08T12:33:00.000-07:002006-11-14T10:47:34.164-08:00

Mood: OptimisticPain Scale: 6Well, with all this spare time to practice reading my fertility signs and pinpointing ovulation, I would like to announce: "I am now able to pinpoint the week of ovulation!" (I used to have an awful time with this when we first started out.) I have somewhat unpredictable cycles, but I've come to find out they are either 35 days long or 43 days long. Don't ask me! I

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-1157059029412471252006-08-31T14:13:00.000-07:002006-11-14T10:47:34.063-08:00

Mood: Pissed offYesterday morning on the radio I heard a clip from a sermon that the Rev. Willie Wilson of Union Temple Baptist Church in Southeast D.C had given in 2005 about Lesbians. I almost crashed my car!! What the F*CK!! It's soo shocking to listen to. It amazes and saddens me that people didn't get up and leave, but stayed and agreed with his homophobic/chauvinistic views. I can't believe

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-1156432274392647502006-08-24T07:59:00.000-07:002006-11-14T10:47:33.975-08:00

So, it seems that the main consensus is to do IUIs this time around. Personally I would rather do our own at home. I don't really like to get Dr. involved unless we need to. I feel confident that my body can get pregnant on it's own. But, everyone else's need to have some control want to do it in a Dr.'s office. They feel like that if a Dr. is saying be here at this time it will seem more

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-1155926214942975132006-08-18T11:27:00.000-07:002006-11-14T10:47:33.872-08:00

So our KD informed us he would like to wait a couple of months before proceeding on the baby making journey. He and his partner would like to get retested since it's been soo long since our last medical check ups. He also found a bank willing to do KD fresh sperm inseminations which also requires lots of tests and check ups to begin. Not so bad for me cause now I can really get down to my goal

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-1155654612825574402006-08-15T08:02:00.000-07:002006-11-14T10:47:33.779-08:00

It's official, we are starting!!! I am very excited, but I'm also nervous!! I haven't reached the weight I really want to be. I know I shouldn't really worry about it, but I just don't want to blow up like a balloon and not be able to deflate after the baby is born! Yes, I know it's silly. Who has time to wait around to be the perfect size. After all 30 is just around the corner.This month will

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9437463.post-1152834336536070792006-07-13T16:34:00.000-07:002006-11-14T10:47:33.700-08:00

...she said 69!Well. I've got 15 lbs to go until the September deadline. I'm not sure if I'll make it, but I'm sure going to try my damnedest.J shared our thoughts and plans of the upcoming prego marathon with KD the other day. We just planted the seed, we don't know if he still wants to participate at this time. I hope he still does. The question of my "condition" also came up. I ask myself that

Li Lihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02971589775059082777noreply@blogger.com0